Size
by StupidLegos
Summary: Because apparently, they think size matter. Not really, but it could make a big difference. Just a little One-shot, Reader-insert because I've been getting into those recently. Chad x Reader. (I guess.)


"You do realize what time it is, right?"

"Yet you still showed~"

Your eye twitched as you resisted the urge to punch the smug smile from Urahara's lips. Yawning with a huff, you rubbed your eyes and stomped your foot. "Only because Renji called me and told me it was an emergency!" Plus, Ichigo's yelling in the back ground with someone else only made the matter worse. But you were way to tired and worried to do that at the moment. Pushing past the shop owner, you walked with fast steps to the back. Reaching out, you pushed on the traditional Japanese doors and slip them open as you spoke, "If someone isn't dying-!" Stopping your sentence and freezing in the door way, you saw a few people you knew fully dressed and completely well.

Walking past you, into the room, Urahara sent you a chuckle from behind his fan, to which you glared in return. With a now red face, Ichigo jumped up from his seat, knocking it over in the process. Turning towards Uryu he completely fumed. "You called (First Name) for this!? Do you know what time it is!? I don't feel like dying right now!" Nervously looking over at you - who was staring intently at everyone - and rubbed the back of his head.

Knitting his brows together, Uryu glared at Ichigo before speaking. "It was not me who called her."

Snorting, you tried to comb your finger through your tangled hair, seeing you were now almost wide awake, you cared a bit about your appearance. Your part of your hair was defying gravity and the other part was just knotted. Your clothes were messy because you were in too much of a rush to get dress, not to mention your flip-flops with mix-match socks; that were a total hell to get on. Letting out a frustrated growl you angrily ran your fingers through your hair before glaring at the orange-haired boy. "Yeah! Uryu would only call me this late if it were a **real** emergency!"

"But this is important!" As soon as those words left Renji's mouth, he recoiled at your look, sitting back down in his chair like a guilty child.

Just so he could have something to hit, Ichigo put his chair back up and kicked it over again, causing the shop owner to frown and mutter something along the lines of, 'What did that chair ever do to you?' as he set down tea for you that you assumed he pulled out of thin air. Turning towards Renji, Ichigo threw his arms in the air dramatically. "But this isn't something you ask a girl about, you dumb-ass!"

Chad, who had silently been sitting the corner, finally decided to speak up and threw his two cents in. "She'll never know unless we ask.."

Laughing overly-loud, hoping to get some attention you asked, "Did I suddenly not become here!? Am I back home, sleeping and you're all talking about this **before** you decide to call me!?" When everyone continued to ignore and argue, you shrugged and laid your head down on the table with a sigh, sipping the tea from a straw.

"(First Name!)" Everyone shut up as Keigo spoke up with a smile. Jerking back awake, seeing you had fallen asleep for a minute or two, you turned to look at him with a scowl. Seeing as everyone knew how you were when you were asleep, he scooted back, bringing his whole chair with him. Giving the boy a look that said, 'just ask me already', he spoke up in a very hesitant voice. "Does.. size matter?"

A very thick silence filled the air as you stared at him. Suddenly your eyes started to water, your face turned red and your lips started to quiver. Thinking something was wrong with you, everyone quickly jumped up ready to act if need be, until you started to laugh. You couldn't help it, it was just too funny! Well, of course you expected something extremely stupid but certainly not this! Doubling over in your chair, your arms wrapped around your mid-section and tears spilled down your cheeks, you laughter full and hearty, your foot stomping on the ground. But no, this.. this really couldn't be why they asked you over here, not this late. Everyone deadpanned. Wiping the tears off your face as your laughter calmed to giggles, you looked at them all and tried to speak. "N-now.. I know.. that you guys di-didn't call me, to come here.. at 2 in the morning t-to ask me.. this..!"

Receiving no reply, your smile dropped and you glared over at Renji. Your object to kill: the person who called you. Slowly stepping forward, glasses boy stretched out his hand and decided to try reason with you, as everyone else knew there was just no hope. When you were out to kill, you would get blood. "Now, (First Name).. think about what your going to do next.."

Quickly standing up, Renji flinched back, Ichigo stepped forward, Uryu stood still, Keigo hid behind the still man, Chad started to inch forward to you and.. Urahara? Well, he just sat, watching and fanning himself because you see, he already knew this was going to happen. Squinting your eyes you growled and with a yell you lunged at Renji. Ichigo, being the closets to you, jumped out and grabbed you, wrapping his arms around your waist as you clawed forward. Although he didn't see your foot lift up and slam onto his, he yelped and missed your elbow slam into his gut. Letting go of you to grab his stomach, you took off for Renji once who screamed and flailed.

Chad, being the biggest one in the room, really didn't wanna hurt you but he saw no other choice as no one else was going to move - because they were too scared. Just as you were about to reach the red head, Chad jumped out and tackled you to the ground, making sure to flip so he landed on his back and your back on his chest. Bringing his arms up around the bottom and front of yours, he clasped his hands together behind your neck. Being this close to you like this made him blush and his heart pound, but no one really wanted Renji to die. Kicking your feet wildly and wiggling around, Chad grunted at the way you rubbed against his body, so he wrapped his legs around yours so you didn't have room to move. "Let me at him so I can kill him! Then go home and get some rest after I throw his body into a river, never to be found again!"

Sitting down at the table, Strawberry rubbed his stomach and started to cough. Keigo's mouth dropped and practically swooned over you, despite the situation. "Well, with the way you just handed Ichigo's ass to him, I don't doubt you at all!"

"_S-SHUT UP!_"

Everyone stayed silent - except the occasional grunt of struggle form you - as time passed. The curly haired boy kept you held tightly against him a head-lock, until you stopped kicking and yelling and they were **sure** you had calmed down. Letting out a sigh, you let your body go jelly against Chads. Suddenly you blushed, forgetting all your angry and realized the position you were in. You swallowed hard feeling his large arms and his chest against your back. "O-okay! L-let me.. go! I-I'm calmed down now!~" You nervously giggled and started to wiggle again, causing the boy beneath you to grit his teeth and inwardly groan. Unconsciously rubbing against a spot that was _extremely_ sensitive, he quickly let you go. Scrambling to get off of him, you fixed your shirt that had started to slide up and walked over to where you were once sitting and sat back down. Sitting back up, Chad quickly looked to you then back to his chair, which he started to make his way back too. Leaning back in your chair, you closed you eyes and rubbed your face as if trying to rub the blush off. Deciding to get your mind off what just happened, that no one missed, you answered the question. "It really depends on the girl.." you muttered.

Everyone turned their heads to look at you, as you stared at the ceiling. "Does size matter to you?" You weren't quiet sure who asked it, but you had a strong feeling of who it was.

Narrowing your eye, you turned to look at them all and sat up, itching your head. Avoiding the question, not wanting to answer it. "While were on the topic of _size_, I want you guys to do something." Immediately they all started to sputter and look at you with choked expressions. "Oh my god, do this!" You held up your hand, stopping then and they watched you. Flattening out your palm in the air, your brought your middle finger down as far as it would go and not feel strained. You took your thumb on your left hand you put it below your middle, then raised your middle up, but kept the tip of your thumb where the tip of your middle was. Slowly everyone, even Urahara who had been quiet through-out the who deal did it. Then they all look back at you, as you looked at them all one-by-one. Looking over at Chads, your eyes widened and you blushed and looked away, coughing. You quickly stood up and started to talk towards the door, rushing your words. "'Kayweredoneheregoodnight!"

Uryu's face turned into confusion and he called out to you, "Wait! Why did you-"

Instantly getting a boost of confidence, you turned around with your hands raised and your fingers out. Pointing over at Chad who was staring at you, you pursed your lips together before speaking. "Chad, wanna watch a movie at my house this weekend? Spend the night, maybe?"

Spitting out his tea, everyone - except for you and the boy in question - looked over at Urahara who was chuckling and wiping his mouth with a napkin, a perverted, knowing grin across his mouth.

* * *

_**PFFFFT. I wrote this because I had a similar conversation with my brother and his friends, only it ended differently then this did. It was still funny though! So, it gave me the idea for this! And although it might not be all lovey-dovey with Soda/Chad, there aren't many of him xReaders out there so here's another for the world!**_

**_I hope I didn't make any of them OOC.. or too OOC. ;n ;_**

**_Hope you enjoyed! _**

**_I do NOT own Bleach or anything in it._**

**_I only own a few of you.. c;_**

**_I have had the talk. cX_**


End file.
